Last weekend I talked to Amsc about the fact that she’s met a guy she likes who is monogamous. I told her if she needed to take a break with me to explore things with him, we could. I don’t want to give Amsc up, but I also think since she lives so far away it would be selfish to restrict her chances at a full-time local relationship to keep her available to me the four days a month we get to see each other.
Amsc thought it might not be fair to just say, “OK, never mind! Game on!” if things don’t out with New Guy. She’s concerned about treating me unfairly, especially with my recent troubles with Mika. However, Amsc has been up front with me about her needs and the problems she has with us long-term, and I don’t want her to feel pressure to “choose” him or me. I want her to be able to explore things without additional stress.
I’m trying to think of this in terms of win-win. If things work out with New Guy (or someone else later on), is happy, and I’ll still presumably get to do most everything I do with her now, minus the sex and maybe some of the snuggling, depending on New Guy’s comfort level. If things don’t work out, I’ll still get to date Amsc, and maybe she’ll feel less like I’m a restriction on her dating opportunities.
I had a very good weekend with Amsc. If it winds up being our last weekend together as a couple, it will be a nice bookend to our first nights together. While there, I tried to focus less on “I might lose Amsc” and more on, “If this is my last weekend with her, let me enjoy it fully so I can look back and smile.” If it turns out that Amsc and I only get two years together, I will try to be happy I had two years with such a wonderful woman.