Saturday, December 24, 2011


Packing for my weekend in Evansville with Jero, my mom, my sister, and my sister's boyfriend. Should be fun. Happy holidays!

Saturday, November 12, 2011

No fair!

Behu is sending me hot pictures of herself in her short vinyl dress. Tease! :)

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Great Night

I had such a great night! Went to the Children's Museum Haunted House, and then got to roleplay with my ex-kid Alex for the first time... Ghostbusters, appropriately enough.  I missed hanging out with rollergirls, but I had such a wonderful time with Alex, Chris, Jamie and Jess that it was completely worth staying home. Happy Halloween!

Friday, October 28, 2011


Feeling not-so-depressed for the first time in a long time.  I'm calling that a win.


"You know what they call 'alternative medicine' that's been proved to work? Medicine." - Australian comedian Tim Minchin

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

We refuse to live in fear!

President Obama, in his weekend radio address to the nation:

They wanted to terrorize us, but, as Americans, we refuse to live in fear.

ABC News, yesterday:

Fighter planes were scrambled, bomb squads were called, FBI command centers went on alert and police teams raced to airports today, but in the end two separate airline incidents were caused by apparently innocent bathroom breaks and a little "making out," federal officials said.

But hey - "We refuse to live in fear!"

The decade's biggest scam

"Number of American civilians who died worldwide in terrorist attacks last year: 8 -- Minimum number who died after being struck by lightning: 29." That's the threat in the name of which a vast domestic Security State is constructed, wars and other attacks are and continue to be launched, and trillions of dollars are transferred to the private security and defense contracting industry at exactly the time that Americans -- even as they face massive wealth inequality -- are told that they must sacrifice basic economic security because of budgetary constraints.

The decade's biggest scam

Debtpocalypse deferred!

Debtpocalypse deferred!

Friday, August 26, 2011


On my way to see Caro in Minneapolis. Good trip so far.

Tuesday, June 07, 2011

Birthday Week– 2011.06.04

Sunday morning I got up with Nivagi and hung out at the main fire in Shaman’s Circle until it was time to head back to civilization. After saying goodbye to everyone, I drove back to Indianapolis to meet Mars. His wife Emmemy had made ribs, and I got to have dinner with them and hang out with their kids until Mars put them to bed. Mars and I then stayed up and played Fallout RPG for the first time in, we figured out, seven years. It was fun – I definitely need to make more time for geek bonding when possible.

When I got home, Stsm was there, so I snuggled up with her and slept. We hung out in the morning, and then I left to have lunch with Trinity. When I got back from lunch Stsm and I went out for cupcakes, and I bought an extra one for Jero. After dropping Stsm off I drove to Jero’s, surprising her by arriving on time. Jero and I went out to dinner at The Journey, and then I MUXed while she played on her laptop. We talked about watching a DVD, but I stayed on the computer too long and by the time we went to bed it was time to sleep.

Tuesday I had to get up early for my therapist appointment, and on the way back I picked up lunch for Jero and me. Work was annoying, but since Nivagi was out at Tojo’s birthday dinner I had some time alone to unwind before she arrived for our date night. She was itchy from mosquito bites and sleepy, so she took antihistamines and passed out early. I stayed up late, snuggling her at first, and then playing on my laptop while she slept next to me on the bed. Even though our awake time was short, it was nice to have her in my bed, and every once in a while wake up and tell me she loved me.

After a nice Wednesday morning with Nivagi, I went back to sleep and slept until work. Work was maddening, with calls in queue for almost six hours straight. It was probably best that I didn’t have any plans with anyone else that night. I talked with my mom on the way home, and then just chilled for a while before logging on to the MUX. I missed most of the players, which is bad for RP but good for quiet. I did get to run an excellent flashback scene with Sean about the say Sparkplug had to tell Spike his mom died. Yeah, we’re a laugh riot over at Transformers Universe. B)

Thursday morning Stsm snuck into my apartment and decorated it for my birthday while I was asleep. I didn’t wake up until she was covering me with confetti as a surprise. She kissed me and I went back to sleep. I slept most of the day, and then when I woke up I was productive – calling to make appointments, fix my insurance, etc. When Stsm got off work we went out for pizza and then back to my apartment for birthday cake and celebration. I’ve been depressed about my birthday, but Stsm did a good job of cheering me up.

Friday was my actual birthday, so I took the day off and slept in with Stsm. I was depressed and tired, so I opted to cancel my daytime plans and just stay in and try to get things accomplished. Later Stsm and I went out to dinner with Erma, Ke, Mira, and Nivagi. Afterwards we went to Maggie Moo’s for ice-cream, and sat around outside for a while talking about sex, and Star Wars. When it got late Erma and Mira each headed home, and Ke, Nivagi and Stsm came over to my apartment to spend the night. Most of my day was pretty stressful, but I at least had a very pleasant end to the evening.

Saturday was rough. It was my birthday weekend, but Jess had to run a bout, Ke had to work, and everyone else except Stsm had better things to do than hang out with me. Most of them were at a party to which I wasn’t invited, which really made me feel cut off from most of the friends I’ve made over the last year. My plans failed, as did my backup plans, so Stsm wound up dealing with a very crappy and depressed me by herself. She tried to make the best of it – we went out to dinner and then watched Coupling – but overall it was still a shitty end to a stressful week.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Therapy 2011.05.18

Tonight’s my date night with Nivagi, but I’m MUXing while she crafts. She was feeling amorous earlier, but my depression got in the way and eventually she got up in annoyance. We ordered pizza, and everything is fine now, but it still sucks that I can’t be happy when I finally see someone I’ve been missing for days. I was having this problem this weekend as well, while celebrating my seven-year anniversary with Jero. I had every reason to be happy, but by Monday night I was miserable for no real reason.

It might be time for medication. While the problems in my life haven’t really improved, they’ve at least stabilized and I’m getting used to the new status quo. However, overall I’m not feeling any better. Concerns about my relationships, and the future, are stressing me out, as well the constant scheduling woes. Nivagi says I have an Eeyore cloud. However, even when I’m not thinking about my problems, or things seem to be going well, I still randomly feel like crap, and my good moods are very fragile.

My counselor did give me a list of people I could talk to for assessment for medication, so I plan to call them soon. I do hope it helps.