Tonight’s my date night with Nivagi, but I’m MUXing while she crafts. She was feeling amorous earlier, but my depression got in the way and eventually she got up in annoyance. We ordered pizza, and everything is fine now, but it still sucks that I can’t be happy when I finally see someone I’ve been missing for days. I was having this problem this weekend as well, while celebrating my seven-year anniversary with Jero. I had every reason to be happy, but by Monday night I was miserable for no real reason.
It might be time for medication. While the problems in my life haven’t really improved, they’ve at least stabilized and I’m getting used to the new status quo. However, overall I’m not feeling any better. Concerns about my relationships, and the future, are stressing me out, as well the constant scheduling woes. Nivagi says I have an Eeyore cloud. However, even when I’m not thinking about my problems, or things seem to be going well, I still randomly feel like crap, and my good moods are very fragile.
My counselor did give me a list of people I could talk to for assessment for medication, so I plan to call them soon. I do hope it helps.
Showing posts with label stress. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stress. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Week in Review – Week of 2010.04.11 – 04.17
This week has been stressful in terms of work, but fun in terms of derby. I’m still excited to be playing in scrimmage-like drills, as anyone around me can easily tell since I won’t shut up about it. I’m taking full advantage of my early work schedule to go to as many practices as possible. There are other things I’d like to be doing with this time as well, but right now I’m making derby a priority because I want to get my skills up to speed, and hope to be able to skate in the upcoming Rookie Rumble. Wish me luck!
Sunday’s endurance practice was surprisingly a lot of fun. I normally *hate* endurance practices, but since there was a bout last Saturday, very few people showed up for practice one and therefore it was ran at a slower, more personal pace. I actually got to work on technique instead of just racing pell-mell for two hours. It was nice. After practice I picked up Nivagi and we brought Ke dinner before Ke went into work. Nivagi and I snuggled and watched Angel, enjoying a pleasant, low-key night.
Monday I had off work so I enjoyed some quiet time while Ke slept and Jero and Nivagi were at work. When Jero got home I walked over to her house and we went out for a yummy dinner before I got on the MUX. I was able to get on early for a change, so I got to role-play with Cawh, Chdr, Desm, Hemy, Nightfall, Scourge, and Semcca in several different scenes. I didn’t advance the plot as far as I’d hoped to, but I had a lot of fun, which is ultimately more important. Jero and I then looked over Gen Con stuff before bed.
Tuesday night’s derby practice was a lot of fun. Again, my legs were tired in the beginning but fine once we started doing scrimmage-type drills. I got to be knocked around the track by Faye Stunaway, which was rather cool. I felt guilty “hogging” the track (even though I shouldn’t have because it was a men’s practice), but I wanted to block every jam. I still suck, but I’m having fun playing. After practice I tore Stsm away from my other girlfriends at the poly meetup to come hang out with me before bed. We talked and she brought me cool books to read and we had a lovely night.
Wednesday was a shitty day – it started with scheduling stress and went downhill from there. After I escaped work I didn’t want to go to derby practice, but I went anyway, since I usually enjoy it once I get there. Luckily, this was the case again that night – after skating around for two hours and getting pummeled by Uzi Q (who hits like the steel telephone pole), I felt a lot better. I grabbed some food with Jero and then Ke, and after a long shower I felt a lot better. Unfortunately since I’m working an earlier shift I couldn’t stay up too late, but I did get to watch The Daily Show and The Colbert Report with her before she put me to bed. B)
Thursday was a better day at work than Wednesday, especially since I got to have lunch with Adshru. After work I went with Jero to practice where I had a great time getting my ass kicked by members of the Circle City Socialites during scrimmage-like drills. After two hours I was sore and incredibly tired, but I had a lot of fun. Jero and I grabbed quick food and then went back to her house so I could do my taxes (yes, at the very last minute, as always). Exhaustion and technology fail made it a much more difficult process than it had to be, but I finally got them filled out and submitted at 12:10 AM Friday morning (doh!).
Friday was busy and tiring, with the phones ringing off the hook all damned day. I did have a pleasant break when Jero visited me for lunch, but then the day dragged for the next 4 hours. I had to deal with a host of Friday-stress problems (every company in the Midwest seems to want to wait ‘til Friday to run everything), and I barely escaped on time at the end of my shift. I ran to Ke’s house to grab Nivagi, and then Nivagi and I went to see Neil Gaiman, who was awesome. After the lecture we went to Some Guys Pizza and ordered a ton of food, some of which we brought back to Ke before she went into work.
Thankfully today has been much quieter at work. We have very few people here, so I’m doing a combination of east and Midwest work, but I don’t mind. Tonight I’m going to go see the Naptown Roller Girls play the Ohio Roller Girls in a double-header at the Pepsi Coliseum. The Naptown Roller Girls got to hang out with Neil Gaiman last night after his lecture, so I’m a little envious. Jero is picking me up, and Stsm should be there as well. Should be fun!
Sunday’s endurance practice was surprisingly a lot of fun. I normally *hate* endurance practices, but since there was a bout last Saturday, very few people showed up for practice one and therefore it was ran at a slower, more personal pace. I actually got to work on technique instead of just racing pell-mell for two hours. It was nice. After practice I picked up Nivagi and we brought Ke dinner before Ke went into work. Nivagi and I snuggled and watched Angel, enjoying a pleasant, low-key night.
Monday I had off work so I enjoyed some quiet time while Ke slept and Jero and Nivagi were at work. When Jero got home I walked over to her house and we went out for a yummy dinner before I got on the MUX. I was able to get on early for a change, so I got to role-play with Cawh, Chdr, Desm, Hemy, Nightfall, Scourge, and Semcca in several different scenes. I didn’t advance the plot as far as I’d hoped to, but I had a lot of fun, which is ultimately more important. Jero and I then looked over Gen Con stuff before bed.
Tuesday night’s derby practice was a lot of fun. Again, my legs were tired in the beginning but fine once we started doing scrimmage-type drills. I got to be knocked around the track by Faye Stunaway, which was rather cool. I felt guilty “hogging” the track (even though I shouldn’t have because it was a men’s practice), but I wanted to block every jam. I still suck, but I’m having fun playing. After practice I tore Stsm away from my other girlfriends at the poly meetup to come hang out with me before bed. We talked and she brought me cool books to read and we had a lovely night.
Wednesday was a shitty day – it started with scheduling stress and went downhill from there. After I escaped work I didn’t want to go to derby practice, but I went anyway, since I usually enjoy it once I get there. Luckily, this was the case again that night – after skating around for two hours and getting pummeled by Uzi Q (who hits like the steel telephone pole), I felt a lot better. I grabbed some food with Jero and then Ke, and after a long shower I felt a lot better. Unfortunately since I’m working an earlier shift I couldn’t stay up too late, but I did get to watch The Daily Show and The Colbert Report with her before she put me to bed. B)
Thursday was a better day at work than Wednesday, especially since I got to have lunch with Adshru. After work I went with Jero to practice where I had a great time getting my ass kicked by members of the Circle City Socialites during scrimmage-like drills. After two hours I was sore and incredibly tired, but I had a lot of fun. Jero and I grabbed quick food and then went back to her house so I could do my taxes (yes, at the very last minute, as always). Exhaustion and technology fail made it a much more difficult process than it had to be, but I finally got them filled out and submitted at 12:10 AM Friday morning (doh!).
Friday was busy and tiring, with the phones ringing off the hook all damned day. I did have a pleasant break when Jero visited me for lunch, but then the day dragged for the next 4 hours. I had to deal with a host of Friday-stress problems (every company in the Midwest seems to want to wait ‘til Friday to run everything), and I barely escaped on time at the end of my shift. I ran to Ke’s house to grab Nivagi, and then Nivagi and I went to see Neil Gaiman, who was awesome. After the lecture we went to Some Guys Pizza and ordered a ton of food, some of which we brought back to Ke before she went into work.
Thankfully today has been much quieter at work. We have very few people here, so I’m doing a combination of east and Midwest work, but I don’t mind. Tonight I’m going to go see the Naptown Roller Girls play the Ohio Roller Girls in a double-header at the Pepsi Coliseum. The Naptown Roller Girls got to hang out with Neil Gaiman last night after his lecture, so I’m a little envious. Jero is picking me up, and Stsm should be there as well. Should be fun!
Blast from the Past: Reminder of from where Obama’s “new” deficit originated :
Bush's tax cuts overwhelmingly favored the wealthy. The top 1% will saved more than $30,000 per year while the bottom 31% saved nothing at all.
Source: Citizens for Tax Justice and AFL/CIO
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Health - June 18th
I seriously need to work on improving my health. For a while my blood pressure was in the “keep an eye on it zone,” but lately when I’m stressed I’ve been feeling dizzy, flushed, and lightheaded – not good signs. I’ve been told I *look* flushed when I’m upset, which might be normal, but not when my doc keeps pointing to my steadily-above-normal BP reading. I’ve been using my rotating work schedule as an excuse not to exercise, but really, I get stuck with one of three schedules, and I really need to just find time on each of them to eat, exercize, and sleep, and stick to it whichever schedule I’m on.
Part of the problem is that I’m “busy” all of the time, and I don’t want to take already-limited time away from loved ones. However, when I think about it, I don’t begrudge Jero her derby practice or Nivagi her belly-dance class, and I can’t really imagine anyone I love having a problem if I want to delay plans an hour once a week so I can exercise. I will definitely need my lovers’ buy-in if I’m going to stick to plans to improve my financial and physical help, but they are all wonderful people and I know they will help if I can work out a realistic plan and try to stick to it.
Ponder ponder ponder. Any suggestions?
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Last Week (ending April 11th)
Last week things were a lot better. We at CWA aren’t striking yet (although we’ve reserved the right to since we don’t have a new contract yet), so I got to return to work and continue hoarding money in case negotiations break down and we wind up walking out next week. That’s alleviated some financial stress, and since things in my personal life have calmed down I’ve been happier in general. I’ve gotten to spend quality time with local peeps during the week, and on the weekends I’ve been able to travel to see Emmo, Ra and Sckl last weekend and Caro in Minneapolis this past weekend. I didn’t really get much alone time last week, but it was worth it.
Last Sunday morning in St. Louis Sckl and I cuddled Ra in bed before they had to get up to go to a brunch and I had to head back to Indianapolis to meet up with Mika. Although pouring rain made me a bit late picking her up, I had a nice evening. Mika and I had Chinese food and then snuggled and napped together. Mika seems willing to make more time to get together with me in the near future, so that's very encouraging. She's trying to force doctors to treat her symptoms seriously so she can sleep again and be more awake during the day, which she hopes will help her concentrate and better handle decision-making and stress.
Last Monday CWA still wasn’t striking, so I went back to work. We were crazy-busy all day, and I had a blinding headache I couldn’t get rid of. This wasn’t helped by the fact that I’d taken my analgesics home in preparation for the strike and hadn’t yet brought them back. After work Jero made us dinner and we each played on our laptops. We collected meat on Kingdom of Loathing and I worked on the MUX wiki since it was too late to do much role-playing. I set up a Twitter account for the MUX to alert players when characters are closing and TP events are starting, etc. Once my headache finally receded I was much more productive.
Last Tuesday work was just as crazy, and I got stuck on a cut that took me four hours to resolve. After work I stopped by Jero’s for a hug and kiss and to pick up my computer, which I’d left there so I didn’t have to lug it around all day at work. I then went to Ke’s to pick her up and run us out to McDonald’s for food. Ke was horrendously sleepy (she said her friend called it “experimenting with whole new levels of fatigue”), so we watched TV and played on our laptops while we ate and then just went to bed. I couldn’t fall asleep as quickly as Ke did, so I played a bit longer on the Internet, but eventually I shut things down and snuggled up to Ke to sleep.
Last Wednesday morning Ke and I got up a little early so we could have breakfast at Denny’s before I went into work. After work I went to Chpa and Nivagi’s. They know I'm poor and trying to save money, so Chpa cooked dinner for the three of us while Nivagi got ready to go over to my apartment. Nivagi and I had discussed going out, and eventually decided to just stay in to snuggle and watch anime. Nivagi introduced me to Samurai Champloo, and then we watched Cowboy Bebop until Nivagi passed out (it was a ShinichirÅ Watanabe night!). Nivagi’s going to try to find the rest of her Samurai Champloo discs so we can watch it from the beginning.
Last Thursday morning Nivagi and I left early so we could grab breakfast at Le Peep. Work continued to be extremely busy, with everyone apparently trying to get everything done before the Easter holiday weekend. Ke had said she wanted more snuggles, so after work I went to her house, once again bringing us food. Ke had a paper to write, so I got on the MUX and role-played with Temera and Sci-Fi as Barbecue, as well as with Stormwind and Uplift as Blaster and Typhoon. However, it turned out that Ke’s paper wasn’t actually due until FRIDAY at midnight, so she decided to turn in relatively early. I got off the MUX and joined her for cuddles and sleep.
Friday I expected work to suck since 90% of my co-workers were gone for Good Friday, but actually it was not that bad. I did wind up getting stuck with an ISDN mess since I was one of only four people in the five states working who’d been trained on them, but after the business office closed it was relatively quiet and I had a chance to catch up on my points for the day. After work I went to Jero’s and we got a new membership at Our Haven so we could go there for events, starting with Beltane next month. I checked my itinerary and packed for the weekend, and then the two of us went to bed since Jero was already unconscious on the couch.
This past weekend I went to Minnesota to see Caro for her birthday. It was great to spend time with her, even when I was just sitting next to her on the couch while she spun yarn. Jero drove me to the airport Saturday morning and Caro picked me up. After stuffing ourselves with yummy breakfast specials we went by the art store and then returned to her apartment to snuggle on the couch and watch Juno. We hung out while she spun yarn, and then went to see some of her friends at a karaoke bar and then to The Triple Rock to see The World/Inferno Friendship Society perform (I’m definitely a new fan). I’m glad I bought my plane tickets before the strike scare, or else I might have hoarded my money and not gotten to have that wonderful weekend with her.
Now I’m back in Indy and at work. This week has been sucky between work stress and fighting with my sister about money, but I have enjoyed time I’ve spent with my girlfriends, and so far work hasn’t managed to destroy my good mood today. Let’s hope it lasts!
Last Sunday morning in St. Louis Sckl and I cuddled Ra in bed before they had to get up to go to a brunch and I had to head back to Indianapolis to meet up with Mika. Although pouring rain made me a bit late picking her up, I had a nice evening. Mika and I had Chinese food and then snuggled and napped together. Mika seems willing to make more time to get together with me in the near future, so that's very encouraging. She's trying to force doctors to treat her symptoms seriously so she can sleep again and be more awake during the day, which she hopes will help her concentrate and better handle decision-making and stress.
Last Monday CWA still wasn’t striking, so I went back to work. We were crazy-busy all day, and I had a blinding headache I couldn’t get rid of. This wasn’t helped by the fact that I’d taken my analgesics home in preparation for the strike and hadn’t yet brought them back. After work Jero made us dinner and we each played on our laptops. We collected meat on Kingdom of Loathing and I worked on the MUX wiki since it was too late to do much role-playing. I set up a Twitter account for the MUX to alert players when characters are closing and TP events are starting, etc. Once my headache finally receded I was much more productive.
Last Tuesday work was just as crazy, and I got stuck on a cut that took me four hours to resolve. After work I stopped by Jero’s for a hug and kiss and to pick up my computer, which I’d left there so I didn’t have to lug it around all day at work. I then went to Ke’s to pick her up and run us out to McDonald’s for food. Ke was horrendously sleepy (she said her friend called it “experimenting with whole new levels of fatigue”), so we watched TV and played on our laptops while we ate and then just went to bed. I couldn’t fall asleep as quickly as Ke did, so I played a bit longer on the Internet, but eventually I shut things down and snuggled up to Ke to sleep.
Last Wednesday morning Ke and I got up a little early so we could have breakfast at Denny’s before I went into work. After work I went to Chpa and Nivagi’s. They know I'm poor and trying to save money, so Chpa cooked dinner for the three of us while Nivagi got ready to go over to my apartment. Nivagi and I had discussed going out, and eventually decided to just stay in to snuggle and watch anime. Nivagi introduced me to Samurai Champloo, and then we watched Cowboy Bebop until Nivagi passed out (it was a ShinichirÅ Watanabe night!). Nivagi’s going to try to find the rest of her Samurai Champloo discs so we can watch it from the beginning.
Last Thursday morning Nivagi and I left early so we could grab breakfast at Le Peep. Work continued to be extremely busy, with everyone apparently trying to get everything done before the Easter holiday weekend. Ke had said she wanted more snuggles, so after work I went to her house, once again bringing us food. Ke had a paper to write, so I got on the MUX and role-played with Temera and Sci-Fi as Barbecue, as well as with Stormwind and Uplift as Blaster and Typhoon. However, it turned out that Ke’s paper wasn’t actually due until FRIDAY at midnight, so she decided to turn in relatively early. I got off the MUX and joined her for cuddles and sleep.
Friday I expected work to suck since 90% of my co-workers were gone for Good Friday, but actually it was not that bad. I did wind up getting stuck with an ISDN mess since I was one of only four people in the five states working who’d been trained on them, but after the business office closed it was relatively quiet and I had a chance to catch up on my points for the day. After work I went to Jero’s and we got a new membership at Our Haven so we could go there for events, starting with Beltane next month. I checked my itinerary and packed for the weekend, and then the two of us went to bed since Jero was already unconscious on the couch.
This past weekend I went to Minnesota to see Caro for her birthday. It was great to spend time with her, even when I was just sitting next to her on the couch while she spun yarn. Jero drove me to the airport Saturday morning and Caro picked me up. After stuffing ourselves with yummy breakfast specials we went by the art store and then returned to her apartment to snuggle on the couch and watch Juno. We hung out while she spun yarn, and then went to see some of her friends at a karaoke bar and then to The Triple Rock to see The World/Inferno Friendship Society perform (I’m definitely a new fan). I’m glad I bought my plane tickets before the strike scare, or else I might have hoarded my money and not gotten to have that wonderful weekend with her.
Now I’m back in Indy and at work. This week has been sucky between work stress and fighting with my sister about money, but I have enjoyed time I’ve spent with my girlfriends, and so far work hasn’t managed to destroy my good mood today. Let’s hope it lasts!
New spinning fibers added!
Clearance yarns updated!
Dyeabolical™
Yarns and Spinning Fibers
http://dyeabolicalyarns.etsy.com
http://dyeabolicalyarns.blogspot.com
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Week in Review – January 24th
This week started off wonderfully! After a fun game night Saturday Ke, Mira and I spent all day in bed Sunday. I took advantage of the unstructured day to relax and take advantage of vast swaths of sleep and snuggles. Ke and Mira even made frozen pizzas so we wouldn’t have to leave my apartment until the wee hours Monday morning, when we finally headed into the cold in search of more Denny’s.
Monday I was supposed to go out of town, but my plans got rescheduled, so I spent the morning with Ke and Mira before meeting Jero for lunch. Monday is usually my MUX night, but since I thought I was going to be gone, I went on vacation on the MUX. So, I decided to just enjoy the night off. It was sad not to see Ra this week, but I hope she and I will be able to reschedule soon.
Tuesday I had off work so I got to hang out with Jero during her telework day. We watched the inauguration and were very happy with the swearing in of a new, intelligent President. When Jero’s workday ended we went out to eat to celebrate, and then we went back to her house to relax and play Kingdom of Loathing. We were going to play SingStar as well, but it got too late, so we went to bed.
Wednesday after work I drove to Illinois to see Amsc. When I arrived I gave her a belated New Year’s kiss and then we retired to her bedroom. We chatted and caught up a bit, and then got out my laptop to watch BSG Webisodes and The Other Boleyn Girl. I’d have loved to follow with the Elizabeth movies, but alas I had to go to sleep since I needed to get up super-early to drive back to Indy for work.
My plans Thursday with Mika were cancelled since she got sick, so I stayed home to try to catch up on journaling and laundry. I wound up having an extensive conversation with Amsc about whether or not we should continue dating, since the distance is putting a heavy strain on our relationship. When it got too late to talk about it further, we tabled the discussion for now and worked out possible plans for this weekend.
Friday night I hung out with Ke. She bought us Fazoli’s and we hung out at her house on her laptops. Ke helped me a bit with working out my financial troubles, and I mulled over a response to a critical email I’d gotten from Ra concerning my dating practices and how they lead to my “relationship stress on multiple fronts” as Ra put it. I’ll need more time to ponder her points and think about how to resolve them.
Today I had a pleasant lunch with Jero. After work Amsc is coming into town and then the two of us are going down to Bloomington to meet up with Jalyru and my sister. Jalyru invited me up to play on her Wii and ‘do some karaoke,’ so it should be fun. Tomorrow Amsc and I have all day to sleep in and snuggle, so I look forward to the quiet downtime.
Monday I was supposed to go out of town, but my plans got rescheduled, so I spent the morning with Ke and Mira before meeting Jero for lunch. Monday is usually my MUX night, but since I thought I was going to be gone, I went on vacation on the MUX. So, I decided to just enjoy the night off. It was sad not to see Ra this week, but I hope she and I will be able to reschedule soon.
Tuesday I had off work so I got to hang out with Jero during her telework day. We watched the inauguration and were very happy with the swearing in of a new, intelligent President. When Jero’s workday ended we went out to eat to celebrate, and then we went back to her house to relax and play Kingdom of Loathing. We were going to play SingStar as well, but it got too late, so we went to bed.
Wednesday after work I drove to Illinois to see Amsc. When I arrived I gave her a belated New Year’s kiss and then we retired to her bedroom. We chatted and caught up a bit, and then got out my laptop to watch BSG Webisodes and The Other Boleyn Girl. I’d have loved to follow with the Elizabeth movies, but alas I had to go to sleep since I needed to get up super-early to drive back to Indy for work.
My plans Thursday with Mika were cancelled since she got sick, so I stayed home to try to catch up on journaling and laundry. I wound up having an extensive conversation with Amsc about whether or not we should continue dating, since the distance is putting a heavy strain on our relationship. When it got too late to talk about it further, we tabled the discussion for now and worked out possible plans for this weekend.
Friday night I hung out with Ke. She bought us Fazoli’s and we hung out at her house on her laptops. Ke helped me a bit with working out my financial troubles, and I mulled over a response to a critical email I’d gotten from Ra concerning my dating practices and how they lead to my “relationship stress on multiple fronts” as Ra put it. I’ll need more time to ponder her points and think about how to resolve them.
Today I had a pleasant lunch with Jero. After work Amsc is coming into town and then the two of us are going down to Bloomington to meet up with Jalyru and my sister. Jalyru invited me up to play on her Wii and ‘do some karaoke,’ so it should be fun. Tomorrow Amsc and I have all day to sleep in and snuggle, so I look forward to the quiet downtime.
“’Sin?’ ‘Sin’ like ‘love’ was a word hard to define. It came in two bitter but vastly different flavors. The first lay in violating the taboos of your tribe.”
-- Robert Heinlein, Time Enough For Love
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